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Bus Discussion => Bus Topics ( click here for quick start! ) => Topic started by: kyle4501 on November 21, 2006, 09:09:30 AM

Title: Joke of the week #23
Post by: kyle4501 on November 21, 2006, 09:09:30 AM
The Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.  As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! !

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.  So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.  Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.  I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.  His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

 "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.  You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?  I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time PRICELESS

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Nick Badame Refrig/ACC on November 21, 2006, 09:32:26 AM
Thanks Kyle,

If I don't post by Tuesday of the week, That means I don't have a good Joke to post....

Anyone is welcome to start the Joke of the week if I don't...Ha Ha .

Thanks again Kyle.


Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Lee Bradley on November 21, 2006, 10:34:45 AM
... and on the other side.

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,
"You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."

 He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.  You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

 After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

  Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands.

 Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

 The wife replied, "The flippen funeral director would be my first guess."

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Ace on November 21, 2006, 01:35:49 PM
The start of a very long process JUST to get back to the beginning and THEN the fun really begins!

What a Joke!  :o

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Jeremy on November 21, 2006, 02:33:54 PM
I wish I had a photo of my bus like that (or rather, someone else's bus of the same type!). I've spent hours and hours and hours trying to figure out the the structure of the body on mine, hidden as it is beneath all that skin and panelling.

I cannot see any main chassis rails on that Eagle - are they basically a spaceframe?


Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: DrivingMissLazy on November 21, 2006, 02:40:11 PM
Odd looking Eagle. No bogie axle. Must be one of the few 35 foot suburbans built.

The start of a very long process JUST to get back to the beginning and THEN the fun really begins!

What a Joke!  :o

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: niles500 on November 21, 2006, 05:47:31 PM
Richard, if you look closely I think you'll see that this 40 footer has been altered by removing the bogey and framing in that area with new tubing - HTH

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Ace on November 21, 2006, 06:00:32 PM
Good eyes Niles!  ;D


Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: kyle4501 on November 21, 2006, 08:36:03 PM
The start of a very long process JUST to get back to the beginning and THEN the fun really begins!

What a Joke! :o

A joke?  ??? I don't get it. It Looks to me to be a GREAT start with a solid foundation.

How can you not see the potential?

If it is a discontinued project due to whatever reason, then I see it as sad.
Sad that the enthusiam was lost.
Sad that time ran out.
Sad that funding dried up.
Sad that health ran out.
Sad that promises weren't kept.
Sad that the planned trips weren't taken.
Sad that dreams died.

Well, you should get the idea why I see no joke in an uncompleted project.

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Dallas on November 22, 2006, 04:54:15 AM
At the risk of being non-PC

Now Onto Other News:

President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"??

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one Blonde with Large Breasts!

The guy exclaimed, "A Blonde with Large Breasts? Why kill a Blonde with Large Breasts?"

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you, no one gives a dammm about the 140 million Muslims".

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Ace on November 22, 2006, 05:16:18 AM
Kyle, there were many an hour put into this to get it this far ALL OUTDOORS!

By the time it got this far, it rusted thru and thru! It was YEARS out in the element and as years went by the owner got older and older and NEVER was able to do any more with it!

Truely sad, but anyone going to this extreme and getting behind on it so far as to NOT being able to have the rewards of a finihed product is a JOKE!

Look at all the ENJOYABLE TIME he could have had if the bus was in a usable state! I can find better things to do with my time AND money than to tear something apart to watch it just rust away!

Maybe the rest of you feel differently!


Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: kyle4501 on November 22, 2006, 05:39:28 AM
Yep, I do feel differently. To me it is the journey, not just the destination.

That is why I bought a 50+ year old orphan.

I have yet to turn a wrench on her, but that does not mean I have wasted my time. On the contary, I have been having the best fun of my life. I have traveled far to pick up thousands of pounds of 'spare parts'. I have met the best people in the world. I have made fantastic friends that have given me parts in exchange for nothing! That have gone out of their way to pick up parts for me & all just to share in the fun of the journey.
With this hobby, I have something to look forward to, even on the worst of the bad days. Just last week, someone gave me another cruiser & it is still a seated coach! Hell yes I'm excited about the possibilities with that one! My wife & family may not understand, but they do see my happiness & that's good enough.

Being closed minded & focusing on only the end product will have you missing a signigicant & important part, THE JOURNEY! I know nothing about that eagle frame's history. I would imagine there are other people who have spent lots more on their hobbies & enjoyed it far less, & others who spent less & enjoyed it more.

That is why I like this hobby, I get to do it my way. My way also involves a little understanding that others may have a different goal than mine & they are not a joke if I don't share their goal or understand their methods.

Moderators, please feel free to move or remove this if desired.

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Brill-o on November 22, 2006, 12:46:40 PM

Holiday grins:

Ace and Gary wanted to bag wild turkeys again for this years’ family feast. :)

They convinced Nick to drive them to their favorite hunting spot, which was on the top of a high mountain.

As they neared the point, Nick noticed the very long and steep grade and thought it best if they just parked the bus and walked up-

After incessant complaining by both Gary and Ace, Nick relinquished and gave in—he drove them to the top.

Gary and Ace found the mother lode- a field full of grazing fowl!
They shot as many as they could- 30 a piece!

Nick was in awe seeing both of them towing ropes with so many turkeys they’d bagged!
Immediately Nick stated adamantly that all those turkeys wouldn’t fit, and would be way too heavy a load for the trip down the summit.

Both Ace and Gary started complaining again, siting that last year they got the same amount- and that driver never said anything-

With that- Nick pacified them and agreed.

But Nick was right-
The coach started heating up the brakes and they started picking up a dangerous amount of speed!  :o

Nick saw a fire road off to the side and thought he could slow the coach's decent by taking it. The bus was nearing 90 miles per hour!  :o :o

Nick couldn’t hold it and the coach dove right into the thick woods crashing and knocking him out cold.
Gary and Ace were thrown out into a tree, but unharmed-

Dazed, Gary looked at Ace and asked, “do you have any idea where we are?”

Gary replied “ I think we’re pretty close to where Dallas crashed last year…”

Happy turkey day!  ;)


Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Ace on November 22, 2006, 01:48:57 PM
Brill-0 that's just waaaaayyyyy toooooo funny!  ;D

Under the circumstances, you couldn't have picked better players!   ;)

I just hope the others see it that way!   ::)


Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Nick Badame Refrig/ACC on November 22, 2006, 02:10:31 PM

I told you thoose Turkeys were TOO heavy........

You never listen to me!   Now my new Paint Job is all messed up!

Gary, Your just as guilty!


Barry, that was awsome....

Title: Re: Joke of the week #23
Post by: Dallas on November 22, 2006, 02:49:38 PM

Brakes? What Brakes?


Title: West Virginia Day
Post by: DrivingMissLazy on November 23, 2006, 09:24:14 AM
 The owner of a golf course in West Virginia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from West Virginia University and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those West Va. women.
A group of WV friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked."Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
A senior in West Virginia was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in West Virginia." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in West Virginia  because everything happens in West Virginia 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
The young man from WV came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
NEWS FLASH! - West Va.'s worst air disaster occurred! when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Indiana students,
crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.!
The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
A WV State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-79. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
**************************************************************** !
And My Favorite
A man in WV had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as! he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He ask ed the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in th e back! I never did understand it either"