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Author Topic: laws of the universe  (Read 1105 times)
coachcrazy
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« on: July 01, 2006, 08:20:24 PM »

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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Nick Badame Refrig/ACC
1989, MCI 102C3, 8V92T, HT740, 06' conversion FMCA# F-27317-S "Wife- 1969 Italian/German Style"
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« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2006, 08:35:03 PM »

coachcrazy,

They are laws allright,
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!

Nick-

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HighTechRedneck
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« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2006, 10:24:25 PM »

Great list!   Smiley

Here's another one I have become very aware of after the last couple weeks:

Motel Law - The odds of getting a loud neighbor in a motel is directly related to your need for sleep multiplied by the inverse of the time you need to get up.
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Clarke Echols
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« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2006, 01:17:38 AM »


These laws, while valid, are a mere few of the correlaries to the Universal Law of Perversity, of which
Murphy's Law (whatever can go wrong will go wrong) and its correlaries are a mere small subset.

Clarke (getting closer to "Jr. Member"...)
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