No, I've never had any affiliation with the military or their supply chain. I'm no organic chemist either, I just compiled info from several sources after playing around with some Google searches. Oh.... and I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
I can state with some certainty that Benzene has been used as an ingredient in charcoal lighter fluid. There was a class action lawsuit filed in Massachusetts that named a list of Benzene containing substances, and the charcoal lighter fluid was on their list. I can't say for sure whether ALL of the charcoal lighter fluids contains Benzene, or whether new Benzene-free products have come on the market. For that matter, I never got far enough into this to confirm whether Dow, or one of their entities actually produce this product.
I would have to think that if liquid charcoal lighter fluid is used properly, the Benzene would be fully burned away before the food ever sees the grill. I've never been a big fan of the pre-soaked briquettes like Matchlight, as I think they keep emitting fumes longer.
Various websites seem to split their concern about charcoal lighter fluids into two areas. Basically, there is general concern about any product that contains Benzene, a known carcinogen. [Benzene is also found in all sorts of stuff you will find in your garage, including WD40, Weed-B-Gone, and the gasoline you buy at the pump is about 1-2% Benzene.] The other concern are the environmental issues from burning the stuff, including the release of volatile organic compounds (VOCs) into the air.
Oh, ... and use of Napalm for lighting your home charcoal grill should be highly discouraged.