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JohnEd
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« Reply #60 on: April 23, 2011, 10:41:55 AM » |
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Art,
I understand what you said and what you meant. Surprisingly, or maybe not, it is easy to do the "wright" thing to/for anyone. Really, easy as pie. Disappointing? yes, sometimes.
I estimate considerably more than half that have heard that story consider me a monster. Truly....despicable as a parent. Now, many have just expressed their sorrow...as you have. The one I think was the most perceptive was a lady, not a romantic entanglement, that looked almost in tears who told me "John, you are the most loving and generous and kind man I have ever met. What that girl might have done to you for you to take that action I can't imagine but I am so very sorry for the hurt you must have endured." Of course she had only known me for a few years of frequent, weekly, social interaction and most probably hadn't discovered my "true character".
My Daddy said to me, many years ago, when I was in my mid thirties, we, meaning he and my step mother, "Son....we have a pretty nice nest egg saved up for you and your stepbrother to share when we are gone... I cut him off with "whatever you want to do with your material possessions is a matter of your personal concern. Personally, for my part, I will feel that you failed in your mission if you have a single red cent the day you draw your last breath. I want you to entertain yourself to every dimes worth. Understood?" I never dreamed I would be that guys care giver for 6 plus years but i got my wish and he got a zillion of his own. He passed in a really nice care facility and he was on Medicaid. He spent enuf time in Disney World to be a part owner and he went flying for more hours than Richard Bach and he ate in more restaurants than.... you get the picture. And it cost me every cent i had to keep up with him and I set his agenda. Now there is the point of their having spent hundreds of thousands on her son and his children and that guy's intense resentment of my Dad "wasting all that money on his own entertainment instead of leaving it to my kids". Some people are just Natural Born Givers. Ya know?
Some have sufficient capitol that they would be challenged to spend their accumulated wealth on themselves without doing foolish things and paying accordingly. God bless them. I don't travel in the circles of the extremely well heeled so I don't have any feel for the ratios, BUT, it seems that a big chunk of the people that came into large sums of money were pretty much ruined by that happening. I know it demolished the lives of my kids. There must be shrinks out there that can look at the kid and the parent and determine how best not to turn the kids life into a train wreck when the inevitable time comes. And if it turns out that the advice is "you will ruin him/her' then wouldn't the kindest and most loving thing be to pass the wealth on to a charity? I am a staunch believer in "experts" and their advice.....but then there is the flick "The Illustrated Man"....if you follow.
Musings at best,
John
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