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Author Topic: Not to Pick on Anyone, But this a Rant From Craigs List by a Park Ranger  (Read 1802 times)

« on: October 28, 2006, 03:43:03 PM »

best of craigslist >  salt lake city > To all "Happy Campers"
Originally Posted: Tue, 5 Sep 12:00 MDT

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To all "Happy Campers"
Date: 2006-09-05, 12:00PM MDT

Folks, yesterday ended the regular summer season. I am in the West roughly between the Wasatch and the Tetons. I went home and drank a martini. I made it a double. Yes, there will still be more happy campers. But for the most part, Labor Day signals an end to the onslaught of humanity. Yes, we'll still have to put up with rude French Canadians for a little while but for the most part, we've made it through the storm.

It used to be that camping meant pitching a tent and hiking. Or maybe bringing the horses and doing some trail riding. But lately it seems like people are bringing their homes with them. The generators I can live with so long as they are quiet and used within reason. It’s the late night music and drinking that kept us running this summer. I saw more domestics, more of what we classify as "disorderly conduct" offenses, and generally more people being rude and obnoxious to neighboring campers than in years past. And what's with the big screen TV's out in the forest? Can't you cut the umbilical cord with your TV for just three or four days? I went through one campground last night and felt like I was at the freaking drive in.

Listen folks, most people go camping to get away from it all. Who wants to here you screaming at your kids or berating your wife? No one wants to hear your stereo with the Bass cranked up to where my windows are vibrating before I even arrive. No one wants to here your drunken tirades and fights.

Saturday I handled 4 public urination (for the record, I don't care if your taking a leak behind a bush but what's up with you idiots that don't even try to conceal yourself?) 6 disorderly conduct, 2 domestics, 7 loud music complaints, and one possession (meth) arrest. Holy $#!% people! This is supposed to be camping, not the hood. Your Lincoln Navigator might have a premium sound system with a CD changer but does that mean we all have to enjoy your music? The answer is no. And to you people that cannot understand why the posted speed limit is 15 MPH,,,,it's because a lot of people bring little kids camping with them and these kids tend to run around. To the chick in the Dodge Neon with the Raiders Sticker, yes, you do get a ticket for going 50 in a 15 and no, I don't care that you called my supervisor (neither does my supervisor, she said you talk like a 12 year old that didn't get the prize you wanted from the dentist)

Being a park ranger used to mean a lot of PR, giving directions, occasional search and rescue, first aid, and a periodic encounter with some idiot who drank too much. But now it means responding to the same calls any department handles in an urban area. Instead of smiling at people and letting kids turn our overhead lights on, or petting our horse or sitting on our ATV and handing out junior ranger badges, we have to be on guard all the time looking for tweekers and gun totting survivalists who hate the government or want to use the wilderness as a place to stash $#!% for the Armageddon. And since when did it become popular to use the great outdoors to kill yourself? What happened to committing suicide in town? Now we have people coming out looking for the "natural way" to commit suicide and frankly, some of the places you are choosing make body recovery an all day ordeal. To the moron from Salt Lake that just had to take the 500 foot high dive, do you have any idea what it takes to stage a deep canyon body recovery when our only access is the river? I had plans that weekend!

Here are some of my summer favorites from this year

To the peckerhead from Denver standing out the side of the road skinning out a dead Coyote. I understand that it was road kill and that you didn't shoot it. My problem is your lack of common sense. Everyone driving by sees you standing there with your buck knife gutting this damn thing. Do you think they know it was road kill? Every widow from Cheyenne to San Francisco that drove by and saw you standing there with your prize had there cell phones in hand faster than Wyatt Earp could pull a six iron.

And to the Californian who stopped to help the deer that had been hit. You’re mad at me because I wouldn't call a vet? Are you nuts lady? This is the wilderness not The Bon Macy's. We do not call veterinarians for road kill.

To the kid that pointed the airsoft M-16 out of your car window at me as we passed on the highway,,, I’m sorry I made your dad wet his pants when I pulled you all from the car at gunpoint but hey, your the one who took the orange top off of your toy and don't you think that you being 16 means your old enough to know better? Hell, I damn near had my own private heart attack because of you. What am I supposed to think when I see a Cadillac with California plates and a big black gun barrel pointed at me?

To the Hispanic guy who tossed the empty Bush Lite beer case out the window,,how is me pulling you over racial profiling? I would have pulled you over no matter what color you are. You ought to get an @$# kicking just for being a lazy pig. You paid how much for those rims and yet you drink the cheapest beer on the shelf and you can't afford a littering ticket? I don't think so. I hate writing tickets but you’re the kind that makes it fun.

To the guy taking a crap on the side of the road, do you think that just because your on the passengers side of your RV doesn't mean we can't see you squatting there on the asphalt? There's a whole forest ten feet away! When I came around the corner and saw that I almost crashed into a friggin tree!

To the guy doing the horizontal rumba with your girlfriend on top of the picnic table. Yes, I'm sure it was cool and yes, she is hot but can't you at least wait until its dark?Huh Not everyone is a voyeur. Someone must not have enjoyed seeing your naked @$# pile driving some tart from town or they wouldn't have bothered to call it in.

To the guy who stole one of our ATV's. Don't you think you should have painted it a different color or did something to change its appearance before you start riding it around the same area you stole it from?

To the rest of you real outdoorsmen and women who respect the land, pack out what you pack in, and enjoy the outdoors for what it is, more power to you. But I'll never contact you unless we are passing on the trail and then it's only a mutual hello or maybe answering your questions about weather or terrain.

To the weekend warriors who bring your hate and discontent with you, stay home.

Realistically, 90% of the people who visit the outdoors are great. You make the job fun. It’s the 10% who seek to work overtime to put everyone else out that makes it bad.

The summer is over! Now I can concentrate on a little work around the house and maybe some fishing. Winter will be here soon and life will be good.

Until next summer!

    * this is in or around A Park Ranger
    * no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


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"Foolish Pleasure" 35' MC5A

« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2006, 04:29:01 PM »

Great Post, Dallas!  Wink  Of course we know that Busnuts are congenial, sober, housebroken, and don't beat their wives or girlfriends!

But a view from the other guys' shoes sort of puts thing in perspective.  Anytime I see a Park Ranger in the future I'll try to recall this article and be absolutely sure that I'm adhering to the BusNut code.

And also remember that peace, quiet and cleaning up after oneself is the best way to make friends and influence people.


True friends are difficult to find, hard to leave and impossible to forget.

« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2006, 06:25:45 PM »

I just don't get some people. Whatever happened to common courtesy and the like. I can have a great time without messing with someone elses life. There are all kinds I guess.
Great post! None of us Bus Nuts would do that, would we!
For the guy playing his 10 million watt stereo, I don't want to hear it. I get enough of that here even on the Los Angeles freeways, yuk!

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« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2006, 06:45:58 AM »

Reminds me of the time I went to Kings Canyon National Park (I've got a 35 ft bus< I can do that) I was in a camp ground it was horrrrrible, Loud music, screaming, car alarms going off, like camping in the hood. I was going to stay a week, but decided to leave the next day.
  So I went for a bike ride and several miles down the road was another campground, with hardly anybody in it! I stopped and talked to the camp host. They said it was always quiet there. It seems the campers all like to stay at the camp across the road from the store, showers, restaurant ect.
 Another valuable lesson was learned, I spent my week in a great setting. Now I look for a spots away from the facilities.
 As far as taking a wizz, I think we really have too many hang ups on it. Everybody does it!! My first sight in Okinawa was an old (30?) Mamasan taking a dump on the side of the road. It is just a normal thing that everybody does.

Remember, even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room!


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« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2006, 07:11:01 AM »

A great post, Dallas-

But also, a sad truth...

My wife, being a Park Ranger herself, has realized many of these same situations- and then some. I hear about it all the time-

It never fails to amaze me what people do right in front of her.

Trying to steal historic artifacts and/or defacing the site is high on her list.

Along with relieving themselves on the property, and the odd homeless soul trying to take residence up in the basement..

But the indigence and rudeness of the “guests” is her biggest despair.
More often than not—she gets complaints. It could be as simple as the place is too hot or too cold.
People seem not understand there was no A/C during the Civil War.
They blame her and call the Park Service headquarters.

Unfortunately, by her account—it’s getting worse…

Thanks from Susan for the great read—she can really relate to it all.



Mind the Gap!
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« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2006, 09:07:23 PM »

This post got the can over on BNO.

There is no need for the racial comment at the beginning, no relevance to the rest of the story.

There are rude people from everywhere.

There are nice people from everywhere.

Like every generation that came before, the generation that follows looks like heck in a handbasket.

This is a normal part of getting old.

Absolutely nothing different between now and ancient Greece.

Try and control them? Remember what happened in the 60's the last time that was tried?

Oh, that was us, that's different.....

happy coaching!

Frozen North, Greater Toronto Area
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