Have not posted in awhile (at least 24 hours), so I thought I would give you something just in time for the beginning of the week. Not all that much going on, the smoke dectector in the hallway keeps chirping and the damper on the chimmney is rattling in the wind. (I will change the batteries in the thing after the fireman leave)
Since the beginning of time, it has been necessary for people in communities to disseminate information to each other for their mutual benefit (“I saw a mastodon in my backyard last night.” ... “That lady in the cottage three doors down is acting like a witch. Should I kill her?” ... “Does anyone have an extra chastity belt key to lend me? My husband lost his and he’s getting frantic.”).
These communications were, unfortunately, often random and not timely. People down the block could be having the Bubonic-Plague and you’d never find out until you saw the death cart go by and by then it would be too late. Technology changed all that with the advent of the neighborhood Bus Board.
The Bus Board, a internet system allows its citizens to communicate instantly on a variety of topics of vital import. Along with the usual offers of and/or requests for cheap motor oil, whips, chains and fetish hoods, you can find requests for referrals for electricians/plumbers/carpenters/doctors, alum wheel polishers, and here lately, most importantly, engine rebuilders (this is on the main page, but few follow the instructions concerning that).
Some other favorite Bus Board topics are: Fuel filters, cheap fixes, used parts, cheap parts, used electrical wire, how to purchase fuel at WalMart, wishing you had a paint job, used wheels, used windows, cheap places to stay anywhere in the lower forty-eight, bad highway directions and anything that basically appears to be “free” in nature (this also can be found on the main page).
Since politics is banned from the Bus Board, people have to be very subtle in the ways they express themselves politically, if not, they find themselves in Off Topic areas. Alone, forgotten and forlorn, one of the homeless exiled from the main page. It is possible however to talk politic’s on the main page.
You have to be discreet about it.
An example of this would be “Some men came to my door last night. They were well dressed, charming and seemed inordinately intelligent. I discovered during the conversation that they were   , polling for   . I thought they were giving away free bus parts.” ... Or ... “Some people were looking in my window last night. I got really scared and hid under my bed. I found literature they stuffed under my door for a Used Prevo listed on PC but I only have about ten-K. They were    polling for   . I think they also peed on my lawn.”
Bus Parking is a huge hit on the Bus Boards. Parking areas for some strange reason seem to be a really big deal. In urban areas, people will sometimes park in front of someone’s house and walk to the bus or Metro. People like to talk about this on the Bus Board (again, where do you think you will find that?).
They arrange themselves into two factions.
One faction believes that the street and sidewalk should be enjoyed by everyone. Others believe that the space in front of their homes is sacred and should be used only by them. These people usually believe that parking space usurpers are members of the wrong political party and pee on their lawns. Both factions like to write long notices in Off Topic or The Children's Section of the Bus Board, explaining their positions, some occassionally will post non-related pictures also.
Currently the people who are parking in these actual spaces live somewhere else (alongside an old warehouse just down the street from Fisherman’s Wharf or the largest mall in America), so they never read the postings. Their contribution to the peeing part remains unsubstantiated.
I hope this clears up a lot of misconceptions about Bus Boards. As life is a never ending process, I know that I am a little bit behind the bell curve on a lot of this, but I learn something new every day, and hopefully you did too.
Now I am going back over there (I lurk the halls of Off Topic) to leave a comment on this “I just saw some flyin cows on Interstate Forty, does anyone know who they belong to?”
Which has to be the winner of the week.
Watch them right handers.