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Author Topic: Joke of the year OT  (Read 3860 times)
jjrbus
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« on: April 25, 2007, 09:52:18 AM »

VALIDATION:


 



If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.  He was being cross-examined  by a defense attorney during a felony trial.  The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....

Q:  "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" 

A: "No sir.  But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the  description of this so-called offender.  Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir.  With my life." 

Q: "With  your life?  Let me ask you this then officer.  Do  you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!" 

Q: "And  do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do." 

Q: "And  do you have a lock on your locker?" 

A: "Yes  sir."

Q:  "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?" 

A: "You  see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room." 

The  courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.  The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.     
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edvanland
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« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2007, 10:05:26 AM »

Poor lawyers they are the but of so many jokes, and they deserive them.
Thanks for the laugh
ED
MCI 7
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Ed Van
MCI 7
Cornville, AZ
Lee Bradley
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« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2007, 10:37:56 AM »

I think that is uncalled for; after all its just 99% of the lawyers that give the rest a bad name.
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brojcol
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« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2007, 01:22:37 PM »

Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file. The rearmost tiger wanders off the trail for a few minutes, then reappears shortly thereafter. A few moments later, the front tiger feels what seems to be the other tiger's tongue, applied just below his tail. The tiger disapproves of this action, but doesn't want to start anything by bringing it up. Then, the tiger again feels the tongue, again in the same place.

He decides to confront the after tiger, and asks him, "Did you just lick me twice in the butt?"

The other tiger replied, "Yeah, sorry about that. I just ate a lawyer and I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth."
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"Ask yourself this question...Are you funky enough to be a globetrotter?  Well are you???  ARE YOU?!?!

deal with it."            Professor Bubblegum Tate
JackConrad
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« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2007, 01:49:02 PM »

Lawyers do not have to worry about swimming in shark infested waters. The sharks will not bite them Professional Courtesy
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Arcadia, Florida, When we are home
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phunckie
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« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2007, 02:28:46 PM »

What do you have when you have 100 lawyers neck deep in sand?

not enough sand.       Grin
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bubbaqgal
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« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2007, 04:35:16 PM »

>The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the
> street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the
> walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and
> his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
> As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the
> world are you dressed like this?"
>
>
> The Cowboy says:
>
>
> "Well it's like this Sheriff ... I was in the bar down
> the road and this pretty little red head asks me
> to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
>
>
> We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks
> me to pull off my shirt so I did.
>
>
> Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull
> off my pants .. so I did.
>
>
> Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to
> pull off my shorts . so I did.
>
>
> Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind
> of sexy and says, "Now go to town cowboy... ",
> and here I am."
>
>
> Son of a Gun, Blond Men do exist!!!
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niles500
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« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2007, 06:20:10 PM »

A dead Dog and a dead Lawyer are lying in the middle of the road - What's the difference?


There's skid marks in front of the Dog
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- Niles
Nick Badame Refrig/ACC
1989, MCI 102C3, 8V92T, HT740, 06' conversion FMCA# F-27317-S "Wife- 1969 Italian/German Style"
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« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2007, 06:17:58 AM »

American Busisnesses

99.9% of busisnesses in this country survive by having the ability to satisfy the customer's needs 99% of the time.
If not, more than likely they will see poor profits and fold in time...

American Lawyers

99.9% of lawyers don't give a dam weather you are satisfied or not but, they always make 100% profit all the time...
Have you ever heard of a lawyer going out of busisness? I Think Not!

Nick-


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Whatever it takes!-GITIT DONE! 
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Ednj
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« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2007, 01:26:39 PM »

 Shocked
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MCI-9
Sussex county, Delaware.
See my picture's at= http://groups.yahoo.com/group/busshellconverters/
That's Not Oil Dripping under my Bus, It's Sweat from all that Horsepower.
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edvanland
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« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2007, 03:02:45 PM »

Well at least he is not driving down the road.
ED
MCI 7
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Ed Van
MCI 7
Cornville, AZ
Hartley
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« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2007, 03:58:16 PM »

There was once an option on some of the euro coaches where the driver had his own
private apartment downstairs with a cot and reading light, a/c and all.

Like what is doable on some of the big neoplan doubledeck buses.

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Never take a knife to a gunfight!
captain ron
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« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2007, 05:55:14 PM »

Bryce?  Grin
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jjrbus
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MCI5C/N Ft Myers FL




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« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2007, 07:55:41 PM »

 I recognize him, He was at the Arcadia rally with his wife and son. I just cant remember his name?
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Remember, even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room!

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Hartley
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« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2007, 08:56:48 PM »

Except that appears to be a Right Hand drive coach...

Note the door location...( the print that you can see is correct so it's not a mirror image.)

The briefs appear Down-Under or Euro style. ( May be a Brit..? ) No shame either way.

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
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Never take a knife to a gunfight!
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